So as the final week of the lecture phase concludes I start to look back on the past 12 weeks. As the time has gone past I feel each week I have learned something new each week. In week one we talked about hearing the voice of God, but the thing that I got most out of it most was when the whole group prayed for me to overcome the pain of my dad's accident and death. The second week was spiritual warfare and it was interesting hearing about how much we truely are in a war and most of us don't even realize. I remember a quote someone recited, "The biggest lie Satan has had us believe is that he doesn't exist at all." As I thought about that and the extremly humanistic culture in which we live, I see that Satan has done a good job of decieving us. In that week I feel that I was able to become more aware of when an attack comes and how to overcome it. In the third week we talked about Sanctification and although it wasn't my favorite week I realized I need to go to God everyday and that I am a righteous being for I was created in Gods image. The fourth week was word of God. It made me realize how important the bible is and how we can use it as a very important tool. In the fifth week, Evangelism, I learned how to go out and talk to others about the Lord. Although he have us right down to many notes, we had a chance to minister to men in the jail. We where the first outsiders ever aloud inside the jail and that was one God filled day. Nations to Nations Conference in South Africa was the sixth week. It was great to get away for a week and get to know other bases. It showed how close our group had gotten during our time together. Our following week was a week of local outreach in which we went to a school, clinic, and another school. I was able to tell my testimony at a high school and the holy spirit had a hold of my words. After I completed talking about 50 or more where moved to accept christ. It had nothign to do with me but the amazing blessings that can be done through the holy spirit. For Fatherheart of God, and Holy Spirit we had another base with us. We had 11 living in this small 3 bedroom, 1 bath house. Father heart of God showed me how to take up my authority that has been given from God. Holy Spirit, my favorite week, not just talked about the holy spirit, but gave us time to experience it. One night I was on teh ground for an hour just in His presence. In the mid of the week I also was rebaptised and rededicated my life to God. God asked me that week to not look to the past anymore but to look to the future and I felt this was the best way to start anew. I was also given a letter from a student that wrote what he felt the Lord was wanting him to tell me (its in another blog post called "letters from God.") Crucified Life talked about how we are dead to sin, ourselves, and the law. He talked about how we are forgiven of our sins in the past, present, and future. The 11th week, Plumbline, spent time talking about how we are to forgive others and how we put up different walls in our lives. During that time I was able to forgive someone who teased me for 12 years and ask for forgiveness for some things I thought I would never tell anyone. This week, Community Development, is talking about how we need to go about developing a community not only economically and socially, but spiritually. Although a lot of it sounds straight from a business school (which I have been very used to) its been great to hear about how to deal with cross-cultural communication and how to preach the gospel to other cultures.
12 weeks, really....its been 12 weeks? It feels like I am a different person but at the same time I feel like it was only yesterday that I was at home getting nervous about leaving. The Lord has blessed me in this time and if you have read any of the other blogs you have seen he has given me some prophetic words as well. The fun yet most challenging part of my journey is just about to begin. I will live in tents for 6 weeks somewhere in botswana (the place we are going isn;t even on a map.) And then spend 2 weeks in Rustenburg, South Africa...YES the same place where U.S. - England will play their World Cup match and no I won't be in the stadium but I will probably be just outside. In this time of reflection I want to thank all of you that have supported me either financially, spiritually, or just have been touched by my story. I originally made this blog for myself, family, and friends but I see I need to not hold back to show those that read it that God is not only real but he is alive. God bless you all!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Words of Prophecy
Over the past few weeks different people have given me prophetic words over my life. Some where from my fellow students and have to do with my role on the outreach phase of this DTS and others have to do with my calling. The first section below are the words from my fellow students about what I will be doing on the DTS and my role. The way this worked was we where to pray for the role of person number 1 and then person number two and so on. We didn't know who that person was but were asked to pray for them anyway. Later in the week our leader Nathan asked God separately what names go with what numbers and each of us were matched up with a prophetic word. Nathan never knew what the words said until after he said which name he felt went with which person.
When Nathan had told of which number corresponded to me this is what words where spoken for that number (remember we had 7 different people praying so these are everyone's visions or words):
Walking shoes and a guide. Sewer and the seed -> A huge field , lines of trees, person throwing seeds, Jesus behind putting water into the holes. (1st line being seeded, many other lines of trees behind it. Each line of trees shows a progression of growth in a tree's life cycle.) Not the sowers job to grow the tree but to start the process. (someone elses job to nurture.) - Sewing seeds, a person working in a garden with a hoe - Children, entertaining, being playful - strong, showing off, energy - green grass, running then lying down and not wanting to do anything - children being excited, fun and relaxing atmosphere - truck carrying cabbages. - A person on top of the cabbages giving them out. - Laundry, depth, and compassion (her stomach feels nervous.)
*This again is visions based off my role on our outreach phase and how it will go.
Here is the second prophecy. This one was told by one of our speakers named Cliff and also Nathan, our base leader. The scripture at the end is by a fellow student named Mohapeloa. This all was saved on an audio file and I did my best to copy it all down so this is the text version of that time:
Cliff's section: Thank you Lord he is a pioneer-er, someone who pioneers. I thank you Lord he is going to go to uncharted territory. I thank you Lord, first thing, God wants to really settle the issue of Sonship and total and complete identity in father God. So Lord I thank you for my brother and thank you are super naturally organizing and sorting out the issues of the heart. Thank you lord for the confidence that he is going to know that he is going to know (yes he said it twice). Thank you Lord that the part that is not there is not the part he needs to focus on. That's not it, its looking unto you and as he looks unto you Lord as he receives the revelation and the truth of who you say he is and he is going to know and experience in his heart as the truth those things from the past will sort those things out and he doesn't need all the answers or the solutions, only needs you. So I thank you are settling that in him in the name of Jesus. As he does adventure with you Lord I pray that you will increase his faith. I pray that you will expand it in him. I see faith expanding inside of you that is even broader and more than you thought was possible. I pray there is such a confidence and awareness and conviction in your own heart of what god can do that you will look at mountains and say we can climb that and people with me will say, "whatever I am out of here." Your life will not be about telling that mountain to be cast into the sea, your life will be about: God will say look at that mountain, so go climb it. God is going to equip you and give you the strategies and the proper paths that no one else can see "through the cleft in the rock." God will have me take people on that journey and will lead people through it and enjoy it and stop and say, "look at that view, enjoy it." God will give you a gift to pioneer through things and take people to a place of enjoying the process and when they get over the mountain they will be tired and have calluses on their feet but will say, "wow" climbing that mountain was cool and I was the one that led them to that. There is some spiritual analogy to this but I really believe there is some physical analogy as well. God is going to do that in the natural but do not loose sight of the ability in the spirit to have people stop and smell the goodness of the Lord and to taste of it when they normally wouldn't do it. Thank you Lord for his calling and sureity of it so that he won't have to question it...in Jesus name give him the confidence in it as well...
Nathan's section:
I got a picture of a watchtower and is apart of a fortress. Usually a small team of people and usually there are long shifts for the watchmen at night and the morning. Usually they have a bell at the top of the tower so you can ring the bell when an enemy is attacking. So part of the tower is you will be working in small teams..Warning bell is that God will give you sight in spiritual giftedness to warn people of direction of enemy attack. To sound the alarm. Other things is the work God is calling you to it will be very tiring but will strengthening you and most things it will be in the evenings when people are resting. So part of that is looks like God is calling you to something that is not very regular it changes from a normal shift. Other things is something you should be aware of is on the watchtower it could seem like a lonely path to take with only one or two of you on the tower. Can be a lot more lonely because you don't have the hussle and bussle of regular hours. God wants to make you aware that you may get lonely but be on the watchout for it. Watch out for it for God is with you and He doesn't want you to think loneliness is overtaking you or take away from you. I don't know if that is for the calling or felt more like it was apart of the next season in your life, but it could also be for your calling but I will let God tell you which it is.
Mohapeloa - I have a verse for you Mr. Spencer - Matthew 16:17-20.
When Nathan had told of which number corresponded to me this is what words where spoken for that number (remember we had 7 different people praying so these are everyone's visions or words):
Walking shoes and a guide. Sewer and the seed -> A huge field , lines of trees, person throwing seeds, Jesus behind putting water into the holes. (1st line being seeded, many other lines of trees behind it. Each line of trees shows a progression of growth in a tree's life cycle.) Not the sowers job to grow the tree but to start the process. (someone elses job to nurture.) - Sewing seeds, a person working in a garden with a hoe - Children, entertaining, being playful - strong, showing off, energy - green grass, running then lying down and not wanting to do anything - children being excited, fun and relaxing atmosphere - truck carrying cabbages. - A person on top of the cabbages giving them out. - Laundry, depth, and compassion (her stomach feels nervous.)
*This again is visions based off my role on our outreach phase and how it will go.
Here is the second prophecy. This one was told by one of our speakers named Cliff and also Nathan, our base leader. The scripture at the end is by a fellow student named Mohapeloa. This all was saved on an audio file and I did my best to copy it all down so this is the text version of that time:
Cliff's section: Thank you Lord he is a pioneer-er, someone who pioneers. I thank you Lord he is going to go to uncharted territory. I thank you Lord, first thing, God wants to really settle the issue of Sonship and total and complete identity in father God. So Lord I thank you for my brother and thank you are super naturally organizing and sorting out the issues of the heart. Thank you lord for the confidence that he is going to know that he is going to know (yes he said it twice). Thank you Lord that the part that is not there is not the part he needs to focus on. That's not it, its looking unto you and as he looks unto you Lord as he receives the revelation and the truth of who you say he is and he is going to know and experience in his heart as the truth those things from the past will sort those things out and he doesn't need all the answers or the solutions, only needs you. So I thank you are settling that in him in the name of Jesus. As he does adventure with you Lord I pray that you will increase his faith. I pray that you will expand it in him. I see faith expanding inside of you that is even broader and more than you thought was possible. I pray there is such a confidence and awareness and conviction in your own heart of what god can do that you will look at mountains and say we can climb that and people with me will say, "whatever I am out of here." Your life will not be about telling that mountain to be cast into the sea, your life will be about: God will say look at that mountain, so go climb it. God is going to equip you and give you the strategies and the proper paths that no one else can see "through the cleft in the rock." God will have me take people on that journey and will lead people through it and enjoy it and stop and say, "look at that view, enjoy it." God will give you a gift to pioneer through things and take people to a place of enjoying the process and when they get over the mountain they will be tired and have calluses on their feet but will say, "wow" climbing that mountain was cool and I was the one that led them to that. There is some spiritual analogy to this but I really believe there is some physical analogy as well. God is going to do that in the natural but do not loose sight of the ability in the spirit to have people stop and smell the goodness of the Lord and to taste of it when they normally wouldn't do it. Thank you Lord for his calling and sureity of it so that he won't have to question it...in Jesus name give him the confidence in it as well...
Nathan's section:
I got a picture of a watchtower and is apart of a fortress. Usually a small team of people and usually there are long shifts for the watchmen at night and the morning. Usually they have a bell at the top of the tower so you can ring the bell when an enemy is attacking. So part of the tower is you will be working in small teams..Warning bell is that God will give you sight in spiritual giftedness to warn people of direction of enemy attack. To sound the alarm. Other things is the work God is calling you to it will be very tiring but will strengthening you and most things it will be in the evenings when people are resting. So part of that is looks like God is calling you to something that is not very regular it changes from a normal shift. Other things is something you should be aware of is on the watchtower it could seem like a lonely path to take with only one or two of you on the tower. Can be a lot more lonely because you don't have the hussle and bussle of regular hours. God wants to make you aware that you may get lonely but be on the watchout for it. Watch out for it for God is with you and He doesn't want you to think loneliness is overtaking you or take away from you. I don't know if that is for the calling or felt more like it was apart of the next season in your life, but it could also be for your calling but I will let God tell you which it is.
Mohapeloa - I have a verse for you Mr. Spencer - Matthew 16:17-20.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Letters from God
So it may sound weird but I have two letters that where written to me that where inspired based off what the writer felt the Lord was telling them to tell me. The first letter which I will post bellow was written by a visiting DTS student from Drakensburg, South Africa two weeks ago. He was woken up by God in the middle of the night and God told him to write me a letter. The second was written by myself today based off the words I felt the Lord was telling me to write to myself. I know it sounds confusing but the words in both of the letters are quite pointenant to my current walk. Bellow is the first letter:
Son of Israel
The fullness of my spirit dwells in you, like Moses I come to hear the spoken utterance of your prayers. I have given you many nations but many more await.
Lowly in heart and seeker of love do you not know the love I want to replace in your heart is that which was stoeln from you by a absent father and sharp young lovers? The fullness you hunger, for is not found in any woman, but only in Me.
Every morning as my mercy and grace is made new, I search your heart and find little deception and many questions. Do you not know the fullness dwelling inside? Every answer is in me and I give as generously as you have given, you need just ask! The mysteries of your future I know but I want you to just trust me. I reveal not what is to come so that your independence can be redemed in me.
Precious Prince of Isreal!!! I celebrate in the heavenly places. In your giving and in your faith, FINALLY you have sown so that I can take that seed sown and and the awe of future treasures will be the coming harvest!!!
Amen
Second Letter:
(A little back story. I decided to fast for 3 days this week about letting God be my idenity and not other things, Monday to Wednesday, and one fellow DTS student questioned why I was fasting...)
Put me before anything and anyone. Stand firm and do not sway. Know that in me you are strong. Do not worry if you go against the grain for I went against the grain first. Seek the kingdom first! Forgive and bless others for you have been forgiven. Pray for those that come against you. Fast only for me. Do not put any attention on yourself. I want your attention on me during a fast, not what other thinks of you. Do not worry when others rebuke and challenge your reasons for fasting for I know your heart. I will give you what you have asked for. I love and cherish you and hold onto me through these bumps in the DTS. Do not let your anger flair up, but give your burdens to me. Stand firm on the Rock as the storms come; for I will protect you through the storms of life. Do you not know that Jesus calmed storms with a short phrase; can I not do the same for you? Walk with me and trust me. I want to take you to great places but first you must have the faith to follow me. Do not worry about the past or future just be in my presence now. Treat each storm and tough situation as a time of growing to prepare you to better serve my people. YTou will be the next Peter but as Peter had to do, you must learn to have the faith to hold my hand and walk on water. Do you not see the unique gifts and passions I have given you? You have a deep and compassionate heart as I did, but I want to expand that. I love the way you worship me through photography and will use that to show others what they have missed. I can't wait to start the adventure with you. I will take you to many natiuons and places no one else has tried to go. I need a backpacking pioneer like yourself Spencer. I need you to expand my gospel to the dark and lost areas of the world. I will use your adventuresome spirit for my will. I am so happy that you are finally embrassing my truth, my love, and my embrase. Spencer when your mom told you she felt you would do something that would change the world she was right! Spencer put your faith in me and cling to me for there will be some hard times ahead, but in me you will provail. Spencer you are special, precious and my son; never forget that. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. Spencer put your idenity in me and I will fill you up with my peace and rightousness. Feel no more saddness for your dad for he is right next to me cheering you on. He has been praying for you everyday and is so excited to see you again one day. Spencer you fasted to put your idenity back on me and to accept my love and you are already doing that. I know your pain but I will take it away, just ask. You are precious and a warrior, never forget that. I chose you presonally for this will. I love you Spencer and walk in faith with me.
God
Ok so although it sounds crazy I wrote a letter to myself from what I felt the Lord wanted me to write, I really had the Holy Spirit in me and it felt like the words I wrote where the right words to write. The next time I get to the internet I will talk about some words of prophecy that where said over my life and about my future. Many of the words are confirmations about backpacking and possibly doing that in Australia. Before I was on this DTS I would have never believed most of this stuff that I have been writing these past few weeks but the Lord has done amazing wonders in my life and I am looking forward to the future.
Son of Israel
The fullness of my spirit dwells in you, like Moses I come to hear the spoken utterance of your prayers. I have given you many nations but many more await.
Lowly in heart and seeker of love do you not know the love I want to replace in your heart is that which was stoeln from you by a absent father and sharp young lovers? The fullness you hunger, for is not found in any woman, but only in Me.
Every morning as my mercy and grace is made new, I search your heart and find little deception and many questions. Do you not know the fullness dwelling inside? Every answer is in me and I give as generously as you have given, you need just ask! The mysteries of your future I know but I want you to just trust me. I reveal not what is to come so that your independence can be redemed in me.
Precious Prince of Isreal!!! I celebrate in the heavenly places. In your giving and in your faith, FINALLY you have sown so that I can take that seed sown and and the awe of future treasures will be the coming harvest!!!
Amen
Second Letter:
(A little back story. I decided to fast for 3 days this week about letting God be my idenity and not other things, Monday to Wednesday, and one fellow DTS student questioned why I was fasting...)
Put me before anything and anyone. Stand firm and do not sway. Know that in me you are strong. Do not worry if you go against the grain for I went against the grain first. Seek the kingdom first! Forgive and bless others for you have been forgiven. Pray for those that come against you. Fast only for me. Do not put any attention on yourself. I want your attention on me during a fast, not what other thinks of you. Do not worry when others rebuke and challenge your reasons for fasting for I know your heart. I will give you what you have asked for. I love and cherish you and hold onto me through these bumps in the DTS. Do not let your anger flair up, but give your burdens to me. Stand firm on the Rock as the storms come; for I will protect you through the storms of life. Do you not know that Jesus calmed storms with a short phrase; can I not do the same for you? Walk with me and trust me. I want to take you to great places but first you must have the faith to follow me. Do not worry about the past or future just be in my presence now. Treat each storm and tough situation as a time of growing to prepare you to better serve my people. YTou will be the next Peter but as Peter had to do, you must learn to have the faith to hold my hand and walk on water. Do you not see the unique gifts and passions I have given you? You have a deep and compassionate heart as I did, but I want to expand that. I love the way you worship me through photography and will use that to show others what they have missed. I can't wait to start the adventure with you. I will take you to many natiuons and places no one else has tried to go. I need a backpacking pioneer like yourself Spencer. I need you to expand my gospel to the dark and lost areas of the world. I will use your adventuresome spirit for my will. I am so happy that you are finally embrassing my truth, my love, and my embrase. Spencer when your mom told you she felt you would do something that would change the world she was right! Spencer put your faith in me and cling to me for there will be some hard times ahead, but in me you will provail. Spencer you are special, precious and my son; never forget that. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. Spencer put your idenity in me and I will fill you up with my peace and rightousness. Feel no more saddness for your dad for he is right next to me cheering you on. He has been praying for you everyday and is so excited to see you again one day. Spencer you fasted to put your idenity back on me and to accept my love and you are already doing that. I know your pain but I will take it away, just ask. You are precious and a warrior, never forget that. I chose you presonally for this will. I love you Spencer and walk in faith with me.
God
Ok so although it sounds crazy I wrote a letter to myself from what I felt the Lord wanted me to write, I really had the Holy Spirit in me and it felt like the words I wrote where the right words to write. The next time I get to the internet I will talk about some words of prophecy that where said over my life and about my future. Many of the words are confirmations about backpacking and possibly doing that in Australia. Before I was on this DTS I would have never believed most of this stuff that I have been writing these past few weeks but the Lord has done amazing wonders in my life and I am looking forward to the future.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Where is my idenity?
This week the Lord continued to give me more and more provisions and guidance. Our speaker, Cliff, talked about the Crucified Life and concentrated on Jesus and the amazing work he has done for us. The first day we talked mainly about idenity and where that lies. I would have to go back through my notes to fully encompass the lecture for monday but somethign else outside of the lecture helped me add on to the already indepth topic of idenity. In the past 2 or 3 weeks I have been "distracted" by this girl and although I wanted to get to know her my schedule was packed. Last week, as I mentioned, God asked me to give up my cell phone that I had only had for two days. One of the main reasons I bought that phone was to converse with this girl. That night last week the lord asked me to not just give up the phone but to give up control of wherever the potential relationship to Him. This week after the girl came over to hang out she basically ignored me and flirted with a different guy and the Lord that night put on my heart something way more important than any crush. The Lord was showing to me that I have been putting to much of my idenity in girls. I also have been trying to seek love and affirmation from girls as well and not seeking the Lord for his unconditional love. Although I knew I had done this in the past it was the first time that it really hit home. I have spent most of the week in prayer over those two topics and as the week has gone on I have been able to give more and more to God and I don't seem to worried about the girl anymore. One thing I also didn't mention last week was that one of my fellow students from the other base was woken up by the Lord early in the morning and God asked him to write me a letter based off what God told him to say. One of the things that the letter mentioned was exactly this revelation I learned this week for the letter said (paraphrase), "Spencer seek after me for my unconditional love. I know you search for love and its been hard having a father that is apsence and you have been hurt from 'sharp young lovers.'" As I have read the letter over and over again this week I keep thinking what is my priority, where will I be filled, and where can I get unconditional love and not "love" that is dependent on the ups and downs of a woman....and the answer can only be the love that comes from God.
As for the rest of the week we talked about how we need to take victory over sin and again it was very indepth and can't explain it all here but basically talked about how our bodies have died and sin can't take authority over us (and a whole lot more...) this week like last week has been adding on more and more of what I need to hear and bringing about a change in me that I could have never imagined. I am so excited about the next two weeks and then my outreach time for the Lord is far from done with showing me things that I need to grow in!
As for the rest of the week we talked about how we need to take victory over sin and again it was very indepth and can't explain it all here but basically talked about how our bodies have died and sin can't take authority over us (and a whole lot more...) this week like last week has been adding on more and more of what I need to hear and bringing about a change in me that I could have never imagined. I am so excited about the next two weeks and then my outreach time for the Lord is far from done with showing me things that I need to grow in!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Holy Spirit Week Part 2
Ok now we continue the amazing week:
As thursday morning came we had a "Holy Spirit Party" in which was basically a time to praise the Lord and to give up control over our lives to God before we received spiritual gifts. Spiritual gifts include: speaking in tounges, interpreting toungues, knowledge and wisdom, discerning spirits, healing, prophecy, and a few others that I can't think of at the moment. But anyways after giving God control ceremonially by popping a balloon, I asked to receive the gifts of knowlege and wisdom, prophecy, and discerning of spirits. I had also received the gift of toungues a few days earlier but I am still trying to get a hold of that one. Its hard for my antalytical mind to let go and just allow God to do it...so if you can pray for that that would be awesome! As each of us received the different gifts the holy spirit made many..including myself once collapse to the floor and for some stay on the floor for an hour. Although i didn't feel the Lord as I did like Monday the Lord was very much in the room.
That afternoon I went with the speaker and our leader to the airport (an hour and a half away..well at least the bigger airport is) and on the drive Stefan started asking me how I liked it. Soon I told him about the visions and dreams the lord told me about the backpacking ministry and DTS. He then told me that YWAM needs more people like me in YWAM. It was amazing getting a blessing like that from a guy that leads all of southern africa. Our base leader in lesotho plans on starting a mobile-DTS which is very similar to a backpacking DTS just a little different and Stefan and our base leader Nathan have been trying to recruit me to help start it with Nathan. As they said that it was kinda hard for me to say that I may be called to Australia but who knows maybe God will lead me to Africa instead and help Nathan start this new adventure. Nathan basically wants to go to a different location every month all throughout the continent of africa and to have outreach and teaching phases at the same time. I still need to do more prayer but it definitly seems like a interesting and fun idea.
On Friday our team went up to the top of this mountain...actually where the country of Lesotho was first started by their leader.. We had a great time of prayer up there and prayed for the country of Lesotho and asked for forgivness for anything that any of us had done against our African teammates. We then had some individual time of prayer and soon the Lord called me to pray with Mohapeloa our african student. Together the Lord blessed us with his spirit once again and I kinda talked in toungues but again its still weird for me so I need more time and prayer. But the day went well and was well needed for team unity.
The whole week was very tiring and I slept 12 hours last night but it was something that I really needed. I pray that I will continue on this process and if the Lord does call me into full-time missions with YWAM that he will continue to give me confirmation.
As thursday morning came we had a "Holy Spirit Party" in which was basically a time to praise the Lord and to give up control over our lives to God before we received spiritual gifts. Spiritual gifts include: speaking in tounges, interpreting toungues, knowledge and wisdom, discerning spirits, healing, prophecy, and a few others that I can't think of at the moment. But anyways after giving God control ceremonially by popping a balloon, I asked to receive the gifts of knowlege and wisdom, prophecy, and discerning of spirits. I had also received the gift of toungues a few days earlier but I am still trying to get a hold of that one. Its hard for my antalytical mind to let go and just allow God to do it...so if you can pray for that that would be awesome! As each of us received the different gifts the holy spirit made many..including myself once collapse to the floor and for some stay on the floor for an hour. Although i didn't feel the Lord as I did like Monday the Lord was very much in the room.
That afternoon I went with the speaker and our leader to the airport (an hour and a half away..well at least the bigger airport is) and on the drive Stefan started asking me how I liked it. Soon I told him about the visions and dreams the lord told me about the backpacking ministry and DTS. He then told me that YWAM needs more people like me in YWAM. It was amazing getting a blessing like that from a guy that leads all of southern africa. Our base leader in lesotho plans on starting a mobile-DTS which is very similar to a backpacking DTS just a little different and Stefan and our base leader Nathan have been trying to recruit me to help start it with Nathan. As they said that it was kinda hard for me to say that I may be called to Australia but who knows maybe God will lead me to Africa instead and help Nathan start this new adventure. Nathan basically wants to go to a different location every month all throughout the continent of africa and to have outreach and teaching phases at the same time. I still need to do more prayer but it definitly seems like a interesting and fun idea.
On Friday our team went up to the top of this mountain...actually where the country of Lesotho was first started by their leader.. We had a great time of prayer up there and prayed for the country of Lesotho and asked for forgivness for anything that any of us had done against our African teammates. We then had some individual time of prayer and soon the Lord called me to pray with Mohapeloa our african student. Together the Lord blessed us with his spirit once again and I kinda talked in toungues but again its still weird for me so I need more time and prayer. But the day went well and was well needed for team unity.
The whole week was very tiring and I slept 12 hours last night but it was something that I really needed. I pray that I will continue on this process and if the Lord does call me into full-time missions with YWAM that he will continue to give me confirmation.
Holy Spirit Week part 1
So I don't even know how to start..but this week was crazy and some of the things I will mention may be hard to understand or comprehend but all I can say is the holy spirit moved and he moved in large ways. During the mornings our speaker and leader of Southern Africa Stefan Hugo talked about what the holy spirit is and how God uses it in us. On Monday night he showed how the holy spirit can work through us and how the holy spirit can manifest in us (I will talk more about this in a second). Wednesday night I rededicated my life and will talk more about that in a second. Also that night we had a time of giving and again I will mention more in a second. Finally Thursday afternoon we had a great time of receiving different gifts from the holy spirit which once again I will talk about in a second.
Firstly, Monday night was the most powerful time I have had with the Lord. Stefan is amazingly gifted with being able to allow the holy spirit to touch people through him. As he prays for you you start feeling the holy spirit....which for me made me very light headed and I started to sway back and forth in my chair and the first time he prayed for me to receive the holy spirit...BAM...I fell out of my chair and was on the ground. The presence was so strong I collapsed. Only about 15 min later I was being prayed for again this time I was standing up and the holy spirt again came on me and I started swaying and light headed and very light. If anyone hasn't felt the holy spirit it is well amazing. As I started to sway I eventually fell to the ground and unlike last time I couldn't get up. As I layed there the presense was so strong I could only lay there and soak it up more. I asked God for more and more and he gave it to me. I started to cry and then laugh so hard and so deep that it started to hurt. Soon the Lord showed me a picture of the gates of heaven and I saw Jesus there with a glowing white robe on. Soon I saw myself and he had given me a white robe as well and said that in Him I am righteous and he has cleansed me from any sin. I soon looked over to the left and there was my Dad, which as many know had passed away 11 years ago now. As I looked at my Dad he was smiling and had a white robe on as well. After I saw that I got an intense feeling of Gods love (which basically felt like an intense chill and peace) and as I tried to get up a few times over the next hour I would get weak and fall back to the ground. I layed flat on the ground for about an hour or more just in His presence. Once I was able to get up I was so light headed and dizzy from the Spirit I felt drunk. So I always laughed before when people talked about being drunk in the spirit but I was having a hard time walk and I stumbled around till I got to my bed.
Wednesday night.... After we had our class in the morning Stefan asked us if any of us would like to baptized or rebaptized and at that point I didn't raise my hand because I felt that I had done it before and didn't need to do it again. Over the rest of the day the Lord had put it on my heart and really wanted me to do it. Over the week he had shown to me that he wants me to forget the past and look to the present and start anew. I then felt that getting rebaptized would be good to start my new time in life with an act of transformation. So that night I rededicated my life to Jesus and have surrendered my life to where he wants to take me.
Also wednesday night Stefan had asked us to pray about what God wants us to give to someone else. Wednesday night was a time of giving and after time the Lord put it on my heart to give ever cent I had in my wallet and my extra savings in my backpack to an african girl that was struggling to pay for her DTS. As the night came and I gave her all I had seeing her break down in tears of joy and having the Lord giving me a sense of peace and joy I know I did what was right and would do it again. I had never been one that was good at giving...many have given a lot to me but I have not given back and that was the first time I had given something like that and what I received in her smile and Gods presence was worth way more than the money. God wasn't done with me either.... Later that night God then told me to give up my favorite sandals...the same sandals that I have had for 6 years and have gone to 4 continents with. As i took them off and gave them to my african co-student people where shocked...I did talk about how much I like them a little to much haha. Although I now dont have sandals again giving them was more worth it than keeping them. That wasn't the last thing I would give up....After we had all finished giving..and I had received a baseball cap... the guys started going to bed and one of the guys had given his nice phone to a student and then another student gave that guy his phone and so the last guy that gave his phone was without a phone. I had just bought a phone 2 days prior to communicate with someone and the Lord told me to give him control of that potential relationship...and to give up the phone..it took me a second but finally I gave that up as well. That night I couldn't sleep the Lord keep showing me more and more things. I saw a picture of me backpacking with a group of college and high school kids (basically the age of DTS students) and taking them to different hostels on our travels and getting to the know the fellow travelers. Through the relationships we would grow I was able to talk about Christ to these travelers in which many where running away from there problems by traveling. I also saw a picture of me having a night of worship once a week with my team and I was playing the guitar and many of the people where attracted to the music. Through the relationships and worship many where brought to Christ. That night after I got to sleep I also had a dream which was very similar to what God had shown me while I was awake. I see it as a one two punch...discipling the students while reaching out to the travelers in hostels and around.
I will continue my next part of holy spirit week in the next post...
Firstly, Monday night was the most powerful time I have had with the Lord. Stefan is amazingly gifted with being able to allow the holy spirit to touch people through him. As he prays for you you start feeling the holy spirit....which for me made me very light headed and I started to sway back and forth in my chair and the first time he prayed for me to receive the holy spirit...BAM...I fell out of my chair and was on the ground. The presence was so strong I collapsed. Only about 15 min later I was being prayed for again this time I was standing up and the holy spirt again came on me and I started swaying and light headed and very light. If anyone hasn't felt the holy spirit it is well amazing. As I started to sway I eventually fell to the ground and unlike last time I couldn't get up. As I layed there the presense was so strong I could only lay there and soak it up more. I asked God for more and more and he gave it to me. I started to cry and then laugh so hard and so deep that it started to hurt. Soon the Lord showed me a picture of the gates of heaven and I saw Jesus there with a glowing white robe on. Soon I saw myself and he had given me a white robe as well and said that in Him I am righteous and he has cleansed me from any sin. I soon looked over to the left and there was my Dad, which as many know had passed away 11 years ago now. As I looked at my Dad he was smiling and had a white robe on as well. After I saw that I got an intense feeling of Gods love (which basically felt like an intense chill and peace) and as I tried to get up a few times over the next hour I would get weak and fall back to the ground. I layed flat on the ground for about an hour or more just in His presence. Once I was able to get up I was so light headed and dizzy from the Spirit I felt drunk. So I always laughed before when people talked about being drunk in the spirit but I was having a hard time walk and I stumbled around till I got to my bed.
Wednesday night.... After we had our class in the morning Stefan asked us if any of us would like to baptized or rebaptized and at that point I didn't raise my hand because I felt that I had done it before and didn't need to do it again. Over the rest of the day the Lord had put it on my heart and really wanted me to do it. Over the week he had shown to me that he wants me to forget the past and look to the present and start anew. I then felt that getting rebaptized would be good to start my new time in life with an act of transformation. So that night I rededicated my life to Jesus and have surrendered my life to where he wants to take me.
Also wednesday night Stefan had asked us to pray about what God wants us to give to someone else. Wednesday night was a time of giving and after time the Lord put it on my heart to give ever cent I had in my wallet and my extra savings in my backpack to an african girl that was struggling to pay for her DTS. As the night came and I gave her all I had seeing her break down in tears of joy and having the Lord giving me a sense of peace and joy I know I did what was right and would do it again. I had never been one that was good at giving...many have given a lot to me but I have not given back and that was the first time I had given something like that and what I received in her smile and Gods presence was worth way more than the money. God wasn't done with me either.... Later that night God then told me to give up my favorite sandals...the same sandals that I have had for 6 years and have gone to 4 continents with. As i took them off and gave them to my african co-student people where shocked...I did talk about how much I like them a little to much haha. Although I now dont have sandals again giving them was more worth it than keeping them. That wasn't the last thing I would give up....After we had all finished giving..and I had received a baseball cap... the guys started going to bed and one of the guys had given his nice phone to a student and then another student gave that guy his phone and so the last guy that gave his phone was without a phone. I had just bought a phone 2 days prior to communicate with someone and the Lord told me to give him control of that potential relationship...and to give up the phone..it took me a second but finally I gave that up as well. That night I couldn't sleep the Lord keep showing me more and more things. I saw a picture of me backpacking with a group of college and high school kids (basically the age of DTS students) and taking them to different hostels on our travels and getting to the know the fellow travelers. Through the relationships we would grow I was able to talk about Christ to these travelers in which many where running away from there problems by traveling. I also saw a picture of me having a night of worship once a week with my team and I was playing the guitar and many of the people where attracted to the music. Through the relationships and worship many where brought to Christ. That night after I got to sleep I also had a dream which was very similar to what God had shown me while I was awake. I see it as a one two punch...discipling the students while reaching out to the travelers in hostels and around.
I will continue my next part of holy spirit week in the next post...
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Eric's Perseption of me
So one of the students from the visiting base, Eric, has an amazing gift of perception and is able to see what kind of people they are based off a very little amount of involvement. He spent about an hour going through each of our team and giving his perception on them. After I read the small synopsis of mine I wanted to hear more about it and this is what he said: He said that he saw that I was a very nice person that is also very much an encourager. He saw that I am called to be a leader, but not a leader in the limelight, one that works more in smaller groups or one on one. he continued to say that although I may be behind the scenes I still could go up and talk to many but my main area would be with smaller groups. He also mentioned that he sees me as one who will disciple and teach others. He then went on to say that people may not notice me as much because I can be quiet, but he says that when I speak people will listen and many will be transformed. He went on to say that through my disciplining on a smaller basis that I may not see the differences I am making right away but that it will be like a domino effect and I will be amazed. As he finished he mentioned he sees me possibly as a DTS leader with YWAM. Soon later I mentioned that I have been getting a feeling I may be called to do exactly that. I then brought up the time when I talked to him two weeks prior at the Nations to Nations conference about my backpacking ministry I may start. After I mentioned the ministry at the conference he said maybe I should go be staff at a backpacking DTS in Australia and I went on to say when he told me that I got chills, a sense of peace and the words,"go for it, go for it." I told him since that time Australia has been on my mind and he said that sometimes the Lord helps him lead others in a direction and this may be one of the cases. It will still take time before I know if Australia is truly where God wants me but things are starting to lean that way. It was great to hear from Eric and his amazing perceptions of me, for most of them I had been told about in the past. It is great when the Lord gives you confirmation on things and hopefully i will continue to get confirmation about my calling. God is good.
Father Heart of God & More
This week we have been talking about the father heart of God and more specifically the authority that God has given us to rule over the earth. It goes onto talk about how through believing in what Satan says and acting on it (basically sin) he becomes our new master and not God and takes our authority away. We can get the authority back by repenting and growing our relationship with the lord and giving it to Jesus. The more we grow our relationship with the Lord...the one who gives us the authority..the more we can access and grow our authority in this world. The speaker twice came to me first to pray and then to talk to me after one of the talks. The first time he told me he sensed that I am very smart and understand my walk with the Lord well but my spiritual side needs work. He said I need to allow the holy spirit to work in my life more and open up more spiritually and to allow God and the holy spirit to help me apply these principles in my life. When he talked to me after class he basically said a similar thing, saying I understood the material but need to spiritually apply it. This hit me a bit as I was not expecting to be told twice in one day about my need to open up and allow God to apply these ideas in my life. Although I understand them I know that its has been hard to trust God and allow the holy spirit to work more in my life. I know I try on the surface but I do feel I need to let go of more and surrender to the Lord my life. Since that time, which was yesterday, it still has affected me a bit, but I have seen that I personally need to apply this idea of authority and go out into the world with the confidence that the authority of the Lord can provide. I also need to be able to take charge with my decisions and be more proactive in my walk. I felt that before this week I had gotten really far in my walk but yesterday God showed me that I still have much more to learn and to experience...it is nice that next week is on the holy spirit and thats more of allowing the holy spirit to work!
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